I wonder if I'm destined to sabotage anything good forever now.  I long for the old Rachel. The one who was so hopeful and excited. She could bounce back from anything. She wasn't nonchalant about much of anything. You know, I wouldn't even care if the gullible, naiveity came back with it. I'd almost rather believe everyone, then constantly question.  I feel little. And I can't decide if that is by choice, or by human nature.