I've never felt so restless. The uncertaintly of life is always what kills me. I'm being pulled forward by my dreams for my life, but pulled back by my limited resources and life experience. I've tried so hard to be content in Jesus. To be content in the now, in what He has for me. But i feel this fidgeting, this pacing of the floor, this quickening of my heart. Not at the sight of a lover, but at the glimpse of what could be. What my life could be. The problem is, is that I see one future, but then I see several other alternative futures that are just as desirable. Here I am, back again at this recurring dilemma... the dilemma to which I know the answer. No worrying, only trusting. Only content and peaceful. I have such a hard time with this.
Fortunately, summer time is the perfect time to sit back and enjoy my life and be grateful for what I have. I'm gonna keep on with this Project Live thing (even tho I constantly and consistently forget). I'm gonna take pictures. I'm gonna buy my momma some birthday gifts. Listen to music. I'm gonna paint everything! Write a lot. Love some kids. Pray a lot. Learn all I can. I'm gonna smile and dance a lot. Watch more and more movies. The only thing I'm going to plan are my fairytale Europe trips. I'm gonna pick up the guitar again. Maybe write a few songs. I'm gonna go to the Farmer's Market as much as possible. Walk everywhere! Barefoot! Cook as much as possible! Be inspired and inspiring :)
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