I've never felt so restless. The uncertaintly of life is always what kills me. I'm being pulled forward by my dreams for my life, but pulled back by my limited resources and life experience. I've tried so hard to be content in Jesus. To be content in the now, in what He has for me. But i feel this fidgeting, this pacing of the floor, this quickening of my heart. Not at the sight of a lover, but at the glimpse of what could be. What my life could be. The problem is, is that I see one future, but then I see several other alternative futures that are just as desirable. Here I am, back again at this recurring dilemma... the dilemma to which I know the answer. No worrying, only trusting. Only content and peaceful. I have such a hard time with this.
Fortunately, summer time is the perfect time to sit back and enjoy my life and be grateful for what I have. I'm gonna keep on with this Project Live thing (even tho I constantly and consistently forget). I'm gonna take pictures. I'm gonna buy my momma some birthday gifts. Listen to music. I'm gonna paint everything! Write a lot. Love some kids. Pray a lot. Learn all I can. I'm gonna smile and dance a lot. Watch more and more movies. The only thing I'm going to plan are my fairytale Europe trips. I'm gonna pick up the guitar again. Maybe write a few songs. I'm gonna go to the Farmer's Market as much as possible. Walk everywhere! Barefoot! Cook as much as possible! Be inspired and inspiring :)
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Project Live: Days 34-40
June 5, 2011
June 6, 2011
June 7, 2011
It's been said that I look like this actress. (fun pic for forgetting)
June 8, 2011
June 9, 2011
Forgot.... so my favorite show :)
June 10, 2011
Forgot again... so am also hooked on this....
June 11, 2011
Didn't forget! Woot!
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| girls swimmin in a beautiful, but freezing little pool |
June 6, 2011
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| shopping getup |
June 7, 2011
It's been said that I look like this actress. (fun pic for forgetting)
June 8, 2011
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| I watched this video and then started seeing ^ these all over the place |
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| Cracker Barrell :)\ |
June 9, 2011
Forgot.... so my favorite show :)
June 10, 2011
Forgot again... so am also hooked on this....
June 11, 2011
Didn't forget! Woot!
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| another one! at a movie theater :P |
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Project Live: Days 25-33
So, because of the trip and work starting, I haven't done this in a LONG time! And, I have missed days all over the place. But, here's what I got.
May 28, 2011
Missed this one. So, feast your eyes kids....
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June 1, 2011
May 28, 2011
Missed this one. So, feast your eyes kids....
May 29, 2011
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| new ring :) |
May 30, 2011
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| Ana buying a toy with birthday money |
May 31, 2011
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| cute little lunch at a rest stop with the girls :) |
June 1, 2011
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| swimming fun at the hotel |
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| roadside scenery |
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| Car fun |
June 2, 2011 (Ana's birthday!!!)
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| pics in the mirror at Melissa's because I'm cool |
June 3, 2011 [ my birthday :) ]
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| Watchin Mamma Mia for the first time. Great! |
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| just whatev :) |
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| celebratin our birthdays with the whole fam!!! :) |
June 4, 2011
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| Nina bein crazeee on a tiny, spontaneous adventure |
Friday, June 17, 2011
Young love and teddy bears
My first kiss was from a boy in my kindegarten class named Anthony Quintana. I liked him and he liked me. He gave me a teddy bear before he moved away in first grade.
I still carry around that teddy bear which I named Anthony (i was six). I love the teddy bear, and see "him" as just a teddy bear. But, when my sisters see Anthony (the teddy bear), they see "him" as if there's a mystery behind him. It is quite amusing to watch them be so fascinated with my "love life" back in kindegarten. They ask me question after question about this mystery boy who kissed me first and liked me first and gave me a teddy bear. "What did he look like?" "Did he give you the bear before or after he kissed you?" "Were you sad when he moved away?" Were you happy or embarrassed when he moved back (he moved back in fourth grade)?"
To most of these questions, I answered that I didn't know, remember, or care really. Anthony was just a cute, little boy who gave me a cute, little teddy bear. We went to school together till graduation, but we never really crossed paths again. It's funny to think about though. It's funny that I can't remember what I was "feeling."
It makes me a hopeful that all the heartache and regret that I feel sometimes, will be mostly gone in a couple years from now. I'll remember what I felt, but the sting will be gone. In fact, I'll probably look back and smile because of the lesson learned, the support of the people I love, and God's great great sovreignty :)
So, thanks to Nina and Ana for reminding me that "This too shall pass" even in the minor example of my teddy bear and his story.
I still carry around that teddy bear which I named Anthony (i was six). I love the teddy bear, and see "him" as just a teddy bear. But, when my sisters see Anthony (the teddy bear), they see "him" as if there's a mystery behind him. It is quite amusing to watch them be so fascinated with my "love life" back in kindegarten. They ask me question after question about this mystery boy who kissed me first and liked me first and gave me a teddy bear. "What did he look like?" "Did he give you the bear before or after he kissed you?" "Were you sad when he moved away?" Were you happy or embarrassed when he moved back (he moved back in fourth grade)?"
To most of these questions, I answered that I didn't know, remember, or care really. Anthony was just a cute, little boy who gave me a cute, little teddy bear. We went to school together till graduation, but we never really crossed paths again. It's funny to think about though. It's funny that I can't remember what I was "feeling."
It makes me a hopeful that all the heartache and regret that I feel sometimes, will be mostly gone in a couple years from now. I'll remember what I felt, but the sting will be gone. In fact, I'll probably look back and smile because of the lesson learned, the support of the people I love, and God's great great sovreignty :)
So, thanks to Nina and Ana for reminding me that "This too shall pass" even in the minor example of my teddy bear and his story.
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