Hello Lovelies

Although blog titles are not important (especially not MY blog),  the change of my blog name is a representation of something very important.
 I've struggled with my self-image since I was pretty young (as many people have). I've spent way too much time worried and anxious about what people think. And I've wasted many thoughts on how much I hate myself.

 I have won many battles throughout this war against things like cutting, under-eating, over-eating, etc. But I'd be lying if I said that this war has been won. It's a constant struggle. A struggle I don't enjoy talking about.

 First off, it's embarrassing:
1) Because, I am a controlling person, that can't control herself.... OFTEN.
2) My fear of other people, keeps me from allowing the option of someone hearing my problems and agreeing with MY opinion of myself.
3) I'm ashamed of the amount of time I spend thinking about myself, rather than thinking of something productive or positive for myself or others. and,
4) I'm most ashamed of how long this, seemingly middle-school, problem has been going on.

So, some things I've been learning lately. I know that, although I get a little frustrated when I have to tell someone a problem, or be vulnerable in any way, it really helps. It's really good to learn how to trust someone else. I have realized that Satan talks to me a lot. He yells all these hateful thoughts into my head. To trust someone else, would mean that they are telling me the TRUTH. This past year, I've learned how vulnerable other people are. I've learned how people are more likely to be slanted, than straight-edged, shaky, than strong, and unsure, rather than confident. And I've also learned that that's okay. It's okay for me to falter, and it's okay for me to show when I falter. In fact, it's important to enlist help when I fall.

You know, sometimes it seems that this struggle will plague me my entire life.  And thinking on that used to destroy me. But I know that Satan wants to destroy me. I know that he's so manipulating. I know that I AM SINFUL.

I know I CAN'T overcome this. I. CANNOT. I have tried dealing with it on my own. Nope. Satan is more powerful than me. But, God IS more powerful than Satan. I know the truth. I know that God can overcome this problem for me. In fact, HE is the ANSWER to many of my problems. Just knowing what HE thinks of me, solves everything.

I allow Satan to talk over everything. I allow myself to get bogged down, and to hide from the truth. I allow myself to believe so many lies.

God tells me I am lovely. God never lies. Ever. It doesn't matter what I think. Even though I forget (A LOT), God speaks the truth. I believe Him. So, I want you to know that you are wonderful. That you matter. And that God believes that you are more special than you know.

So. Hello Lovely. :)