I'm sorry for all the lies. I'm sorry for all the pretending. And now, I'm sorry for all the hate and the increasing bitterness. My heart has been cold. Your light has become dim in my eyes. And I'm oh so sorry. I'm sorry for being fixed on the glitter of the world. I'm sorry that I didn't think You cared. I'm sorry that I didn't believe You anymore. I'm sorry I let my pain drain out the life in me. I was angry that you created me this way. Satan fed me lies of insecurity, and self-hate. I didn't love me. And I certainly didn't love my Creator. I haven't felt anything real for some time now. Above all, I'm sorry for forgetting. I forgot about faithfulness. I forgot about perseverance. I'm sorry for subconsciously considering Your Word irrelevant to my life. I'm sorry for thinking You couldn't love me or care for me enough to accept me and be there for me. I'm sorry for thinking that little of You.
Will You remind me? Will You prove my wicked heart wrong, please? Will you give me a desire for Your will again? I don't care how it sounds. I need you. I need you to be my perfect companion. I need you to be my good father. I need you to be the lord of my life. I need that. I am ready to admit that you are crucial to my survival. Lord, help me love the things You do. Help me pray like I never have before. Help me actually serve you with a clean heart. Push Satan out of my ear. he is a stumbling block. But You are my refuge. You're my strength when I am weak.
Amen.
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